Master Eraqus' Rules of Family
by Glow of the Blue Moon
Summary: Makutsu wanted a daughter. She didn't get one. Makutsu lived in a house. In this house, she had eleven sons, each with a different father. None of them would talk to each other though. But what happens when an odd man named Master Eraqus steps in? Will they learn to appreciate what they have, or will everything stay the same? A VERY OOC Master Eraqus. Rated T, mainly for swearing.


**Pairings: SoraxKairi, TerraxAqua, RoxasxNamine, ****LeonxRinoa, CloudxAerith, HaynerxOlette, and very slight EraqusxOC.**

**Author's Note: This is my newest story. This one has many pairings in it. Oh, and Makutsu is just a made up name, but if it _is _a real name, that is a total shocker for me. I also made up most of the last names. If I get some of the Final Fantasy characters' personalities wrong, I'm sorry, I've never played any of the Final Fantasy games. I just know some of the characters from other fanfics.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, but I do own Makutsu. She is my OC.**

**Warning: As the summary says, an EXTREMELY OOC Master Eraqus. Some other very off personalities, and swearing. **

**Chapter 1**

Makutsu stared at her mansion, disgusted. She had 11 sons, and she wished she had a daughter. That's why she had 11 sons.

It started with Leon. Then Cloud, then Terra, then Demyx. Then Vanitas, Ventus, and Zexion. She had become extremely annoyed. Then Roxas, Hayner, and Pence came along. That just totally ticked her off. How could she get ten sons, yet not have even one daughter? So she tried one more time, and did she get her daughter? No. Of course not. She got Sora instead. She was officially pissed off and every time any of her sons came near her except for dinner time she would leave them alone. When Sora was just one year old, she stopped taking care of him and left him in the care of his older brothers. Ventus was the only one who was nice enough to take care of him though. And Makutsu got the child support from each of the boys' fathers, which she spent on the mansion so she would see the boys as little as possible.

Cloud served himself and his brothers food. He often made a plate for everyone except Leon, because Leon would never eat anyways. None of the brothers would look at each other, so they'd each come by and get their dinners at separate times.

None of the brothers spoke. After Ven and Sora grew apart, Sora was too shy to talk to anyone and everybody would ignore Ven, so nobody in the house talked to each other. The older boys picked on the younger boys at school sometimes, though. None of them would expose that they were brothers though.

Makutsu left the house and went looking for another guy. It had been fifteen years since Sora was born. This time, she was going to get her daughter. She was sure of it.

"HELLOOOOOO MADAME!" Makutsu screamed as a man popped up in front of her.

**POV CHANGE**

"My name is Master Eraqus it's a pleasure to meet you what is your name I am Master Eraqus I wish that I could be of assistance to you where are you going how are you doing do you like sugar I really like sugar I am Master Eraqus I have not had any sugar since about three weeks ago and I think you look really beautiful but I am Master Eraqus so what is your secret why does your hair smell so good?" The crazy man said.

Oh hell no. Oh _hell _no. I was NOT going to have my first daughter be insane. No way in hell.

"My name is Makutsu, and you can just go back to the insane asylum now." I said, walking past him.

"Wait! Mademoiselle, I must apologize for my errors. I have been told that I can be a little odd every now and again. Please, give me another chance, mademoiselle. I would love to get to know you better." He said in a French accent, grabbing my hand and kissing it. What the fuck was wrong with this guy?

"Get away from me!" I yelled.

"No way babe. You're like, mine now, dudette." A surfer dude? What crack was this guy on?

"GET AWAY!" I yelled, punching him and walking away.

I got all the way home. He _followed _me all the way home.

"Fine. If you're going to stalk me, then go take care of my sons." I said, giving up and walking away.

"KIDS! GET DOWN HERE NOW! ADULTS! TEENAGERS! TODDLERS! ALL OTHER SMALL CHILDREN AND ANIMALS! COME HERE NOW!" Eraqus yelled. What a loon.

**POV CHANGE**

Ventus and Sora showed up first. Curiosity got the better of Pence and Demyx and they joined as well. Eventually, all the brothers except for Roxas and Leon joined.

"What?" Hayner asked.

"Who the fuck are you?" Cloud asked.

"So I hear that none of you get along. WELL YOU WILL! WITH TIME! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" Eraqus said in a general's voice.

"What. The. Fuck." Hayner said.

"Uh…"

"No."

"What?"

"Who is that dude?"

"What's going on here?"

"Who am I?"

"Why am I here?"

And every last comment except for Hayner's came from Eraqus.

"What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. You?" Hayner asked.

"I don't know, do you?" Eraqus asked Vanitas, getting up in his face.

"Back off, bastard!" Vanitas yelled, shoving the man away.

"DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!" He yelled at Ventus. Poor Ven dropped and gave him twenty.

"GOOD JOB SOLDIER! NOW IT IS YOUR TURN!" He yelled. Soon, all of the brothers were doing push-ups.

"Why don't Roxas and Leon have to do this?" Pence muttered.

"THERE'S MORE OF YOU? LEANNE! ROXANNE! GET DOWN HERE NOW!" Eraqus yelled. The boys snickered at their brothers.

"Who the fuck are you and why the fuck did you call me _Roxanne? _My name is _Roxas_." Roxas growled.

"And I'm _Leon." _Leon said.

"Or are you Squall? Because I've heard that you're Squall." Eraqus said. Leon blinked.

"How the fuck did you know that?" Leon asked.

"Because I know EVERYTHING!" Eraqus sang, skipping happily towards the kitchen to find the boys' mother.

"That guy is crazy." Hayner said to Roxas.

"You're telling me." Roxas muttered.

Sora and Ventus looked at each other, sharing shocked looks. Two of the eleven brothers were _talking. _Not only that, but they were _agreeing. _This was insane! Somebody write this down! This belongs in the history textbooks!

Sora's jaw dropped as he saw Leon and Cloud talking, as well as Zexion and Demyx. Each of them was talking about the crazy man named Eraqus. Sora smiled.

Maybe, just maybe, Eraqus would become the best thing that ever happened to them.

* * *

**So? How did you like it? Leave reviews, please! I apologize if you don't like swearing, but it _was _warned in the summary. **


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